To Move In, Or Not to Move In….That Is the Question?

In the past moving in with someone before marriage was sinful. People looked at you as someone who has sold himself or herself short. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? This saying no longer applies to this society because most people give their milk away even if they do not live together.


People have to move in together before they can make a realistic, responsible decision regarding their future. People need to be able to see whom they are really committing to before they make that huge step, marriage. If a person does not live with their significant other they have to take what a person says about their life at face value.

Unfortunately, people only let a person see what they want them to. So many times I have heard people advise their friends to tell their significant other the good things first and tell them the ‘bad’ once have gotten to know ‘them’. This is wrong and manipulative. It traps a person into committing to someone who they do not really know. Yes, it is not a good idea to air your dirty laundry on the first date, but people are obligated to tell someone the whole truth about their life. This allows them to be aware of who they are choosing to be involved with. Moreover, it gives you the peace of mind knowing that your partner loves you for you; the good and the bad parts.

It is important to live with someone before marrying them because each person has to see if they are compatible on a day-to-day base. While you may have fun on a date, or have the same goals, wants, and dreams, it is the little things in life that make or break a relationship. Most arguments stem over small things and while it is easy to tell someone not to sweat the small stuff, reality is that we all sweat it. When someone is constantly messy and the other has to continually clean up after him or her the relationship becomes a chore. If someone seems like a social drinker, but you find out that after work they drink a 12 pack a night, they are an addict. If someone says they enjoy football, but you find at home their eyes are glued to sport center every second of the day, they become neglectful to your emotional needs.

If you are against moving in together because it violates your religious values then move into a two bed-room apartment. If you are truly devote in your religious beliefs you will stick to your morals no matter what the circumstances are, period. Yes, other people will gossip and say it is wrong but they are not the people you should be listening to and they are not supposed to judge you. You know what the dynamics of your relationship are intimately. You and God know the truth, and that is all that matters. Moving in together before marriage will eliminate the chance of divorce because you will be able to see if you can work as a team; if you can build a household that is functional and emotionally/physically safe.